Some of the issues I am able to help you with, which may be impacting you presently, include:
Anxiety and stress
relationship breakdown or betrayal
loss and grief, bereavement
sexual impulsivity, hyper-sexuality
adjustment due to change or moving countries
Counselling is a powerful way to reach out for help. Take the first step to get help, it's easy and it’s confidential.
Counselling sessions are held at Keriva Counselling Centre or by Skype.
Marriage is a significant step for any couple. It is a very exciting time and often the busyness of preparing for the wedding celebrations can take the focus off your relationship. Spending time talking about your relationship and understanding it better will help build a strong foundation for a deeper relationship and a lasting marriage.
Pre-marriage counselling gives opportunity to discuss and explore key areas prior to entering marriage, some of which are never discussed in the relationship. For example, have you considered your expectations of being together now but also in the future? Are they realistic? Have you talked with your partner about possible differences which could impact your relationship and in years to come, or about goals for your future together? How do you work through your differences and resolve conflict? What about blended families?
Couples find working to understand their relationship better in pre-marriage counselling not only fun but very affirming and enriching.
The number of sessions for pre-marriage counselling is typically 3 to 6, allowing time to work through key areas of your relationship. The Prepare-Enrich material, a well-researched program, can be used for your marriage preparation sessions. Each couple is different so counselling will focus on your unique relationship. Initially each of you will fill out a questionnaire online which forms the basis of the sessions. This often affirms much about your relationship and identifies focus points for discussion.
There's a lot of banter about addiction and impulsive behaviours. So what's the difference? You may be asking do I have an addiction, or do I really have a problem? There's so much information on social media and it can be confusing and often misleading.
With specialist addiction training, I can help you understand whether your behaviours are indicative of an addiction or not, and work with you to make and implement a manageable plan for your recovery. My professional specialty area is sex addiction and impulsivity, which also includes pornography.
My continued addictions training and affiliation is with IITAP (International Institute for Trauma & Addictions Professionals) as a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist), which is based on Dr Patrick Carnes years of clinical work and extensive research.
HYPERSEXUALITY, SEX ADDICTION, PORNOGRAPHY
Persons who have engaged in compulsive sexual activities often come to treatment as a result of a crisis such as your partner finding out about your extramarital sexual involvement, arrest for illegal sexual behaviour, job loss or financial crisis related to the behaviour. When you are married or in a committed relationship, both members of the couple typically feel shame and tend to maintain secrecy. As a result, most couples are isolated and are not in contact with other couples who have dealt with similar problems. Talking with a trained professional in this area can help you both to work through your crisis and move forward with support.
When it comes to recovery with addictions, research shows that those who have the best outcomes in recovery :
Attend individual counselling
Gain the support of a 12 step group
Find a spiritual dimension in their lives
Get a mentor, sometimes called a “sponsor”; i.e. become accountable
Attend daily meditation, mindfulness, writing a journal
Support from family and friends
* IITAP has a foundation on the extensive research and clinical work of Dr Patrick Carnes. IITAP is a very progressive and research-based Institute. Recovery programs and exercises have been developed from their research and extensive clinical practice, and we are seeing encouraging results in recovery.
Here’s a questionnaire (PATHOS) that will help you identify if your behaviours are becoming unmanageable or not
Do you find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts? (Preoccupied)
Do you hide some of your sexual behaviour from others? (Ashamed)
Have you ever sought help for sexual behaviour you did not like? (Treatment)
Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behaviour? (Hurt others)
Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire? (Out of control)
When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards? (Sad)
A positive response to just one would indicate a need for additional assessment. Three or more indicates sexual addiction.
IMPACT ON PARTNERS,
Maybe you're a partner of someone who's struggling with an addiction. Partners can often be overlooked. You may have been struggling for years with feeling you're going crazy, but you're not crazy, it's been the struggle you've been battling with unsupported.
Counselling can help you get you back to feeling "uncrazy" and help you understand your own needs again. Working with a counsellor is supportive and helps you to get back on the road to your own mental recovery, while giving you the strength you need to help support your partner with their recovery.